If you are ever contemplating suicide, but lack the intestinal fortitude to actually go through with the act, you might try and do what this man did at the Cleveland Indians game yesterday.
Dumbass of the year?
For those who don’t understand what is going on in this pic, let me explain. The white and red #6 Miami Heat jersey is Lebron James’ new jersey. For those of you who have been in a coma all summer, Lebron just left the fine city of Cleveland, ”taking his talents with him to South Beach”. In the process he took the biggest dump in the history of dumps on Cleveland and it’s fans. Cleveland already boasted the world’s most bitter fans as a result of a long and storied history of gut-wrenching failures.
Now here comes this asshole, wearing the very embodiment of all of the misfortune Cleveland fans have had to endure. The Cleveland Indians are not helping things any, as they are being pummeled by the NY Yankees of all teams en route to an 8-0 loss. How much abuse can these fans take?
After the crowd started chanting obscenities at the man in the James jersey, police escorted him out of the stadium. By the looks of things, this guy was looking for a fight. Do you see him in that pic? Does he look like he is trying to exit gracefully? He looks like he has a fucking deathwish!
If I were that guy, I’d get the hell out of Cleveland, ASAP! Would anyone be surprised to find him choked out in a parking lot with his jersey shoved up his ass? I wouldn’t.
(This is one of my personal favorites. Nobody goes harder than KRS One.)
When I was in college I had the pleasure of going to see KRS One do a lecture on hip hop. He talked about the origins of hip hop and where he saw it going in the future (I don’t think he envisioned such a bleak future.) During the Q and A portion, someone from the audience asked him what he thought about Nelly. (At the time Nelly was at the top of his game. This was right around when “Hot in Here” was killing the charts.) As soon as KRS heard Nelly’s name come out of this dude’s mouth he went OFF!
“NELLY IS NOT HIP HOP! I AM HIP HOP! NELLY IS KILLING HIP HOP!”
He proceeded with a five minute rant explaining why. I was cracking up the entire time. He broke down some of Nelly’s lyrics in that mad exaggerated KRS One voice. It was great. I later found out that KRS really HATES Nelly. There is stuff all over the place about him shitting on Nelly. Nelly had one little verse on a remix retalliating, but for the most part ignored it.
That is what makes this beef so funny to me though. KRS went MAAAAD hard, and Nelly just kept making money. It was pretty much like, aight KRS you got the street cred, but I got a million dollars. Fuck it.
This morning I logged in to MSN.com and saw this picture on the front page.
What fucking country is this in?
If you had to guess, you might immediately think this is Africa, or Haiti maybe. No this shit is in Milwaukee!
I swear, sometimes I think they look for the most ghetto, brokedown looking black people possible to put on the news. Maybe they are trying to invoke memories of Katrina with stuff like this. I saw this shit and all I could think was,
“Aww damn, can’t that skinny ass nigga pull his pants up?”
“Why doesn’t that fat nigga have a shirt on?”
“What are these niggas doing on the front page of MSN?!!”
Am I the only one who gets embarassed by stuff like this? I feel like they are members of my family or something. Maybe I take it too personally.
#7. GranDad v. Thugnificent and the Lethal Interjection Crew
For those who are not familiar with the first two seasons of the Boondocks, well, what the hell are you doing with yourselves? You missed out!
This beef started when Thugnificent and his lethal interjection crew moved out of their hood in Terra Belle, GA, and moved into Grandad’s upscale suburb of Woodcrest. After dealing with his fair share of loud parties and other disturbances, Grandad filed a formal complaint with the Woodcrest community board against Thugnificent. Thugnificent and his crew responded by putting out a diss record entitled “F Grandad” (seen in the attached video).
The song is fucking great. Aside from Thugnificent (voiced by Carl Jones), there are also lines by Lethal Interjection members Macktastic (Snoop Dogg) and Flonominal (Bustah Rhymes). The hook is even done by Nate Dogg!
You just mad ‘cos yo’ ass is old (Macktastic: Old motherfucker!)/ First thing you do is just pick up the phone (Thugnificent: Eat a dick, nigga!)/ Lethal Interjection livin’ next to your home / You motherfucking Grandpa / Old nigga it’s on! (Thugnificent: Old motherfucker!)
Grandad made a response video on youtube that sucked pretty bad, but it was still hilarious. Soon after Thugnificent and Grandad decided to squash the beef because the “F Grandad” song was leading to old men all over the country getting their ass beat for no reason. The two held a press conference and hugged, while whispering the following exchange to eachother:
Grandad: You still gonna pay for my lawn.
Thugnificent: Eat a dick, old nigga.
What makes this one so bad is how thorough of an ass whooping Dre put on Jermaine Dupri. This one all stemmed from a 2001 interview in XXL magazine, where JD claimed to be the greatest producer alive. He went on to name Puffy, Dre, and Timbaland, saying he had more skills than all of them. Dre did not appreciate this.
JD’s comments in XXL eventually led to Dre totally shitting on him in the Eminem single “What You Say“. Dre tore JD to shreds. Some of the lines:
“Fuck Jermaine, he don’t belong speaking mine or Timbaland’s name”
“Ya midget. Mini-me, with a bunch of little mini-yous runnin’ around ya backyard swimming pool.”
“Over 80 million records sold. And I ain’t have to do it with 10 or 11 year olds.”
Then at the end of the track, Timbaland pops in to tell JD to suck his… well, you know what. I love this track. That shit is so hard. Now as for Dupri’s retalliation record, let’s just say it was not even in the same league. His comeback had some of the worst lines ever (complete lyrics here.)!
“See I know you don’t do half the work in the studio,
plus you like lettin’ niggas playing with your booty hole.”
“You same beat making non rapping individual,
I was making what you make now when I was a child”
“Eminem, I left you out deliberatly,You know why?”
“Cause to me, You’re like a character in Disney World,
Known for dissing pop groups and Justin’s x girl”
Is it me, or does it sound like a five year old wrote this? I feel like an appropriate response to this would be, “You’re rubber and I’m glue!”
This is probably the most random matchup of all. Raise your hand if you were even aware that these two had beef!
Pras’ beef with Biggie has always made me scratch my head (and chuckle). There is a track on The Score called “The Mask” where Pras, (a.k.a., the only member of the group who never really mattered) takes a shot at Biggie. The line goes as follows:
“Yo did you shoot him?”
“Nah kid, I didn’t have the balls. That’s when I realized I’m bumpin’ too much Biggie Smalls.”
Wtf?!! So apparently Pras is implying that listening to Biggie makes you into a bitch. Where did that come from? What’s more is that I have never heard anyone even acknowledge this. The Score was one of the biggest albums in hip hop history, I am sure SOMEONE in the Bad Boy camp had to notice this.
Could it be that Pras was just so insignificant, that everyone just laughed it off? I could really picture Biggie hearing this and just going,
This mini beef was a spin off of the much more publicized LL vs. Canibus beef. After Clef produced Canibus’ “Second Round KO” (The LL diss record), LL went on to diss Clef in his “Return of the Ripper ” retalliation record by calling him a Bob Marley impersonator. The record that Clef put out in response was funny on a few different levels.
- First off, the track was called “What’s Clef?”. The hook was him singing ”what’s clef got to do with it” to the tune of Tina Turner. Pretty odd for a diss record, no?
- Clef and LL are two rappers that really have no business battling. That shit just comes off awkward.
- Speaking of awkward, Naomi Campbell makes a cameo on this record at the end. She signs in just to tell LL that his record was wack, and that he needs to give up. As one youtuber so aptly pointed out,
“Naomi Campbell on this track is one of the biggest “Wtf” moments in history…so random”
As far as addictions go, I suppose being addicted to writing is not so bad.
Actually, its more than just writing. I love to create. I feel much more alive when I am creating. I feel semi-productive, even if it is in a very counter-productive sort of way. When I create something truly great, I get a high that can only be matched by a mixture of cocaine laced with angel dust (So my “research” has shown).
I don’t expect all of you to understand. You really cannot fully understand unless you yourself are creative. I mean really and truly creative. That rant you did on the iphone4 does not count, nor does your fangirl review of Twilight Eclipse. There is no soul in that. No true meaning. (Am I sounding sufficiently condescending yet? Real artists are always condescending. Its the thought that we are better than the rest of you average folk that makes us better than the rest of you average folk.)
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I know what mine are and I choose to let my strengths outshine my weaknesses. For example, I am a pretty terrible dancer. I used to let that mess with my head. Nowadays I just don’t give a fuck. My greatness is defined by things that transcend the dance floor. (Fuck all y’all dancin’ ass mofos.)
Eat a dick Puffy.
Wouldn’t we all be better off if we were able to identify our strengths and play to them? I mean you may not be as smart, talented, or devilishly handsome as I am, but I bet you can kick my ass in Call of Duty (there are plenty of people who would be impressed with that!). And you know what, even if you suck at life, find something that makes you happy and do that thing.
